Dumbass Independent Award

Dumbass Independent Award

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I'M A DUMBASS AND NOW I'M ABOUT TO BECOME MOVING DUMBASS

From the long ago and far away days of ancient time...

move over Ahab...I have routinely moved with little more than a shrug of my

petitely slender shoulders. At my smallest adult moving physique, I was thirty plus years old (this one I'm 42) and could slip into the Mall Store called 3-5-7 and not have to squeeze one fat toe into the itsy bitsy folds of these outfits. My surrogate Mom Alstrom (miss you Suzie...Where ever you are, we will never stop loving you)...said a good stiff breeze would cart me away.

But truth is, I'd moved a lot BEFORE my years of single-parent hop skipping and jumping around began,

See I was married to a US Treasury Agent belonging to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms..

However I need to clarify something here. Our vagabond life began before my ex became a Federal Agent...it began back when he graduated on bended knee...(another story for a less circumspect recitation)...

from Penn State University at the State College, PA campus and entered in the

Pennsylvania Department of Justice working under cover as an arm of their narcotics division.

Most think AGENTS make tons of money...either that's a fallacy, or my ex wasn't in the same category of say

Richard Boone in his role of Paladin...although

Branded by Chuck Connors also comes to mind...hmmm let me regress...Branded concerned being stripped of his honor along with his authority...but that's a whole different ball of wax.

Survival is a strange entity. When you are first called upon to step up to the plate and present an unswerving barrier of strength against all odds, you have to hide the fact your

knees are clattering like calcium infused cymbals no matter what you do.

We married, my nemesis and I, on October 28, 1972 and moved right into the first home I had outside the childhood home I'd always known. (Let me tell you something. We all think how sweet it's going to be having our own home, no longer under another beings commands!

"BULL PUCKERS!" )

Undercover narcs are weird people to live with, or at least my ex was. Our next move took place six months later...a very pregnant me moving in with my parental unit, him moving into a flop house during the week while acting as SUPER DRUG AVENGER (who would delve into the product he was supposed to be building arrest cases against.) He never met a drug served up between comely thighs he cloud resist.

Competence does not grow on trees, and egos have no place in such work. He possessed both, in abundance.

After a year of his questionable approaches to being THE MAN, and the loopholes defense attorneys could liberally apply...(you're not supposed to have sex with your customers, or play Russian Roulette to make sales...that's just frowned upon.)..his arrests walked.

Unable to demote him, (He' hadn't committed murder although he came close a time or two during his hot-dogging acts,) they moved us to one of the hell-hole assignments in Pennsylvania.

There are those who carry badges who feel they are smarter than their SUPERIOR agents. He is one. How could he not be? Youth and ingenuity were on his side, while the old codgers, according to him, were over the hill and should be put out to pasture.

Alas being in Podunk sent him avidly applying to all  government jobs. (He was too young to run for President, so had to content himself with applying to INS, FBI, and ATF...ATF, I personally think by default took him on.)

Another move, down to Hyattsville, MD, just outside of Washington. D.C.'s playground, and my ex's firm belief he now walked amongst the rarefied, and therefore should be accorded total honor and respect.

One year of his insufferable "I'm too perfect for my skin" behaviors had me pack my children and me into my car and travel north spending four out of every five weeks near my parents. What an idyllic time. However, once a screw up always a screw up. Washington, D.C. had it's own type of a Move event and of course he was right in the middle. (I was North during the event but it was a pretty heavy duty stand off...Anyone remember Waco? This was almost a duplicate dispaly of ATF skill.)

His transfer up from D.C. was not pleasant, but one more endurance of what one must endure.

We moved to a two story apartment...a beautiful place with parquet floors, a nice outdoor yard, and a brief walk to the grocery store and post office

In Doylestown, PA...about eight miles from my folks and maybe ten miles from

New Hope, PA.. I was happy there. Everything was close by. I knew where everybody worked, played, and lived. HOME!

There's no need to give you a blow-by-blow description why we moved from my happy PA home to an A shaped rancher in Willingboro, NJ less than a year later, but move we did.

For the first time we remained someplace for four years...until my marriage hit the fan and I learned my brilliant ex had not paid a mortgage payment for six months.

In short I Had to find the money to bring my mortgage current...(and trust me if you could see the improvements done by my ex...a jack of no trade and smasher of all the others, keeping that house would not have been a good idea, assuming I'd had a gazillion dollars to pour in to it...which I didn't...a fact the ex made certain of.

So now the children and I were on our own, renting twin rooms, floor space once or twice, or more, etc, until I could save enough from the three jobs I toiled at, to save for a security deposit and first and last months rent. It took awhile, but I learned a great deal about life an the reservoirs of courage and capabilities I didn't even know I had.

There were to be three more places to huddle against while the apartment we are in now became available.

As of August 2011 we have been here 21 years. That's the longest hunk of time I've been anywhere including my nineteen years with my parents.

Time marches on bringing us to this current move. This move is needed because I am not the thirty year old I was when my marriage ended. God willing, this will be my last move.

We're not taking everything we proudly amassed over the years...there'll be no need, since my cousin has loads of the things Kat and I accumulated during these 21 years. Ultimately they are JUST things.

The scariest part...next to actually doing it, is knowing how




traumatized out kitties will be during the process. We're softies were they are concerned.

When we had them spayed, Mama Bear went first. She came home whimpering and so lethargic I took thimbles filled with water and lift my wet finger to her lips so she could let her sleek tongue out just enough to wrap the water droplet onto her tongue. It made me weep.

Kat and I will do what needs to be done, but if any of you know movers reasonably priced who can take our stuff to Alabama while we do the more expedient part by flying with kitties with us, please let me know. (Too late for this....amended 5/8/12)

We are mailing our higher quality stuff, like computer towers, via insured snail mail but that still leaves us with the rest. (Might as well let USPS do some of the more valuable stuff for us.)

Anyone know about

 PODS and how they work? I know

they'll drive your stuff to new destinations, but am not certain if we have to load the pods and

then they cart them away or they load the pods and then head on south. (They cost a MINT...so couldn't do this either....amended 5/8/12)

Now before I close this, I am five days behind getting this up here.

I wanna sue the creators of the flu vaccine. I get my shot religiously, and yet since last Friday I lost 12 pounds to the violent upchucking from the flu.

I feel like a dirty dishrag, so I'm going to go dunk me and see if I can get a tad more energy.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

This seemed the best place!

This seemed to be the best place to talk about this. Hopefully Mom won't mind me hijacking her blog. But I just can't keep it in any longer.

Have you ever noticed your family can hurt you worse and be more cruel than anyone else? Mine sure as hell can. Except for Mom I lately feel like a punching bag for every member of my family.

I'm tired of being told I'm a traitor because of the way I vote in the elections. No one seems to think that I have the right to disagree with their politics even though we live in a country that says we are supposed to have the right to believe what we want to believe. I've been cussed out and called a traitor to my face.



Add in certain family members that feel they have the right to yell and berate me for not telling them things that really aren't their business and I feel heartsick and just plain tired. I've been in tears all morning. I just want to climb into a hole for awhile and lick my wounds.

Monday, January 30, 2012

THE FALL OF GLAMOR



I am so sad I fear I shall not recover. In my life I have seen the

dawn of television, the genesis of

color television, the dubious move to nothing but

digital television, and the questionable direction our Hollywood enigma has taken.

I remember the glamor and awe of Clarke Gable, Cary Grant,

Barbara Stanwyk, Carole Lombard, Barbara Eden,

Elizabeth Montgomery, James Arness,

George Burns and his delightfully ditzy Gracie Allen.

Where oh where has the glamor gone? Where oh where does humor now hide? Where oh where has the mystery flown?

History is a double-edged sword because we no longer are hidden from the dirtier side the Movie Powerhouses kept from us.

Who among us knew Rock Hudson, that tall, dark, and deliciously comedic actor that co-starred with Doris Day in so many of those movies we all adored seeing, was gay? The powerhouses knew it, but not us.

Can you imagine an up and coming Marilyn Monroe achieving "stardom" because a home-made porn movie of her sexual antics was released for the masses to drool over? What would Mayer have done if such a film existed and

Norma Jean, hungering to become Marilyn, allowed such a film out?

Where has the aura of "special" gone? The Golden Globes...Kim Kardashian,

Paris Hilton...how did it come to pass our measuring stick has sunk so low, these people are now the "STARS" of today?

What, one wonders, could David Selznick think of the reality shows that raise someone to stardom because an old geezer like

Hugh Hefner pops Viagra and then boasts about his forays with children young enough to be his great-granddaughters?

I miss the mystery...the illusion of something special existing beyond the fantasy on the screens.

I miss the glamor...I miss the charm...the exclusivity of old Hollywood. Of course I also miss being able to turn on my TV and actually having my FREE stations without needing to invest in cable, dish, or

high priced antennas I cannot have here in my apartment. Thank you so much for that

Dubya! Couldn't leave well enough alone could you?

Ah...but then again, given what is on television mostly,

perhaps Dubya did me a favor depriving me of my access to free local stations.

Oh I can hear many of you saying, you get free stations with the new TVs and their embedded convertor boxes...and that's somewhat true...I guess...if you live in a house

and can buy a big antenna. Again, I live in an apartment. I get two stations ONLY that come through always without pixelation, signal breaking, or no signal at all. I can't even get

PBS. Do you have any idea how pathetic it is to not be able to get PUBLIC TV?

So again, Geeze thanks so much Dubya. You really IMPROVED my entertainment.

I must qualify some of what I've said...There is SOME glamor and from a surprising corner.

I am of course speaking of Angelina Jolie. Back in her Billie Bob days I despaired for this young woman, but since adopting

Maddox, she has matured, and given us the mystique, once more, that

Rita Hayworth,

Jane Russel, and a young

Betty Davis gave our mothers and fathers.

Despite Angelina's youth, we no longer see her strutting around in micro-mini's, bikinis, or other 'inis.

We see her spending time with her children and seeming to enjoy them. 

We see her looking decidely elegant, in the same way

Grace Kelly exuded elegance, when she steps out

with the father of her children, Brad Pitt.

Now I can hear some of you arguing...but they're not married! Many other stars have lived outside the boundaries of marriage without a tenth of the hassles

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie get trashed with.

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel have been happily unwed now for twenty-five years. Okay, they only had ONE son together, but between them they still had a total of FOUR children.

Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins only just slpit up after 23 unmarried years and two sons. Did they get trashed as much as the Jolie-Pitts?

Ironic that a couple exuding the elegance and mystery of old Hollywood gets hassled the most.

Back to my main topic, I really don't care about

Gene Simmons and his private life. I had no interest at all in

Anna Nicole Smith's private insanity that led to her untimely death.

I didn't want to know what Elvis did behind

the gates of Graceland. I loved his rendering of

Blue Hawaii, and that is what I hold dear to me. Yes, I enjoyed even some of his fluff movies...but I loved 
Belgian Flaming Star Movie Poster
Flaming Star where he played the convincing half breed.

I sooo miss the aura, the mystery, the panache...Hollywood...where have you gone?

Do you think we'll ever return to that time? Or are we stuck with a system that lets those who behave badly

and star on reality shows are the ones that stare back at us from the covers of so many magazines?

Bring back the Gene Tierneys, please!